Questions and Answers on Manners and Character
Manners and character are part of the perfection of this religion. Islam came to rectify hearts, actions, speech, and dealings.
Good character is not secondary in Islam. It is one of the signs of faith and sound following. Whoever has good character with Allah and with people, Allah benefits him, raises his rank, and brings him closer to the guidance of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.
What is the status of good character in Islam?
Good character is among the greatest deeds, and it is a sign of complete faith.
“The best of you are those best in character.” Agreed upon.
“The most complete of the believers in faith are those best in character.” Narrated by Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi, and authenticated by scholars.
Is good character worship?
Yes. Good character is worship when a Muslim intends by it the face of Allah and following the Sunnah of His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم. A good word, gentleness, truthfulness, and withholding harm are all part of the religion.
“Every good deed is charity.” Narrated by Al-Bukhari.
What is the danger of the tongue?
The tongue may raise a servant or destroy him. For this reason, Islam commands guarding it from lying, backbiting, tale-carrying, mockery, and obscene speech.
“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say good or remain silent.” Agreed upon.
What is the ruling on backbiting?
Backbiting is forbidden. It is mentioning a Muslim in his absence with what he dislikes.
O you who believe, avoid much suspicion. Indeed some suspicion is sin. Do not spy, nor backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it. And fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance, Merciful. [Al-Hujurat: 12]
What is the difference between backbiting and advice?
Backbiting is mentioning a Muslim’s fault for revenge, entertainment, or belittlement. Islamic advice aims to remove harm or clarify truth. It is limited to what is needed, done with a good intention, and free from injustice or exaggeration.
Not every mention of someone’s mistake is backbiting, and not every speech about people is advice. The measure is intention, need, justice, and avoiding excess.
When is it permissible to mention someone’s fault?
Scholars mention situations where it is permissible to mention a person with what he dislikes because of a valid Islamic need, such as seeking justice, asking for a fatwa, warning from a real harm, qualified criticism of witnesses or narrators, and identification when the person is only known by that description. It must be limited to the need, without injustice or revenge.
What is the ruling on tale-carrying?
Tale-carrying is forbidden. It means carrying speech between people to cause corruption between them, and it is one of the major sins.
“A tale-carrier will not enter Paradise.” Agreed upon.
What is the virtue of truthfulness?
Truthfulness leads to righteousness and Paradise.
“Hold fast to truthfulness, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise.” Agreed upon.
What is the ruling on lying?
Lying is forbidden, and it is from the traits of the hypocrites. It is only allowed in narrow cases mentioned by scholars with evidence, such as reconciliation between people within its proper limits.
“Beware of lying, for lying leads to wickedness, and wickedness leads to the Fire.” Agreed upon.
Is joking permissible? What are its limits?
Joking is permissible if it is truthful and free from lying, mockery, frightening others, obscenity, and ridicule of the religion or people. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم would joke, but he only spoke truth.
Among the limits of joking is that one should not do it so much that it deadens the heart or removes dignity, and it should not harm anyone.
What is the ruling on mocking people?
Mocking people is forbidden. It is from the manners of ignorance, and Allah prohibited it.
O you who believe, let not a people ridicule another people; perhaps they may be better than them. Nor let women ridicule other women; perhaps they may be better than them. Do not insult one another, nor call each other by offensive nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after faith. And whoever does not repent, then those are the wrongdoers. [Al-Hujurat: 11]
What is the virtue of gentleness?
Gentleness is a great character trait that Allah loves. It brings good into homes, dealings, and da‘wah.
“Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness in all matters.” Agreed upon.
What does haya mean?
Haya is a character trait that leads a person to do what is beautiful and leave what is ugly. It is part of faith.
“Modesty is a branch of faith.” Agreed upon.
How does a Muslim treat anger?
Anger is treated by seeking refuge in Allah, remaining silent, changing one’s position, making wudu, leaving the place if needed, and remembering the consequence of anger.
“Do not become angry.” The man repeated the request several times, and he said: “Do not become angry.” Narrated by Al-Bukhari.
What is the virtue of pardoning and overlooking?
Pardoning is a great character trait and a cause of honor and reward. It does not always mean abandoning rights, but it means forgiving when forgiveness is more beneficial and closer to taqwa.
Let them pardon and overlook. Would you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. [An-Nur: 22]
“Allah does not increase a servant by pardoning except in honor.” Narrated by Muslim.
How should a Muslim deal with someone who wronged him?
He deals with justice and does not wrong as he was wronged. If he pardons and pardon is better, that is good. If he needs to take his right through lawful means, he may do so without transgression or forbidden revenge.
The recompense of an evil is an evil like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah. Indeed, He does not love the wrongdoers. [Ash-Shura: 40]
What is the ruling on envy, and how is it treated?
Envy is forbidden. It is wishing that a blessing be removed from another person, or disliking what Allah has given him. A Muslim treats it by being pleased with Allah’s decree, supplicating for blessing for the one he sees blessed, and remembering that Allah’s bounty is vast.
Or do they envy people for what Allah has given them of His bounty? We had already given the family of Ibrahim the Scripture and wisdom, and We gave them a great kingdom. [An-Nisa: 54]
What is arrogance, and what is its danger?
Arrogance is rejecting the truth and looking down on people.
“No one will enter Paradise who has an atom’s weight of arrogance in his heart.” A man said: A man likes his clothing and shoes to look good. He said: “Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Arrogance is rejecting the truth and looking down on people.” Narrated by Muslim.
What is the virtue of humility?
Humility is a character trait Allah loves, and it is a cause of elevation.
“No one humbles himself for Allah except that Allah raises him.” Narrated by Muslim.
What is the ruling on breaking promises?
Breaking promises is from the traits of the hypocrites if a person promises while intending not to fulfill it, or if he is careless with promises without excuse. A Muslim must keep his promise as much as he can, and if he is unable, he should apologize and clarify.
“The sign of the hypocrite is three: when he speaks he lies, when he promises he breaks it, and when he is trusted he betrays.” Agreed upon.
What is the ruling on betraying a trust?
Betraying a trust is forbidden. It includes wealth, secrets, responsibilities, jobs, covenants, and everything a person is entrusted with.
O you who believe, do not betray Allah and the Messenger, nor betray your trusts while you know. [Al-Anfal: 27]
What are the manners of eating?
Among the manners of eating are:
- Saying bismillah.
- Eating with the right hand.
- Eating from what is near oneself.
- Praising Allah after eating.
- Avoiding waste.
- Not criticizing food.
“Young boy, mention Allah’s name, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is near you.” Agreed upon.
What are the manners of greeting with salam?
Spreading salam is one of the causes of love between Muslims.
“You will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to something which, if you do it, you will love one another? Spread salam among yourselves.” Narrated by Muslim.
What are the manners of visiting and seeking permission?
Among the manners of visiting are seeking permission, choosing a suitable time, not staying too long against the host’s preference, lowering the gaze, and preserving people’s privacy.
O you who believe, do not enter houses other than your own until you seek permission and greet their people. That is better for you so that you may remember. [An-Nur: 27]
What are the manners of gatherings?
Among the manners of gatherings are giving salam when entering and leaving, sitting where the gathering ends, not separating two people except with their permission, preserving the secrets of the gathering, leaving backbiting, and lowering the voice.
“When one of you comes to a gathering, let him give salam. When he wants to stand and leave, let him give salam, for the first is not more deserving than the last.” Narrated by Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi, and graded hasan by scholars.
What are the rights of the road?
Among the rights of the road are lowering the gaze, withholding harm, returning salam, commanding good, and forbidding evil.
“Beware of sitting in the roads.” They said: O Messenger of Allah, we have no alternative to our gatherings in which we talk. He said: “If you insist on sitting, then give the road its right.” They said: What is the right of the road, O Messenger of Allah? He said: “Lowering the gaze, withholding harm, returning salam, commanding good, and forbidding evil.” Agreed upon.
What are the manners of giving advice?
Among the manners of advice are sincerity, gentleness, choosing the proper time, concealing the matter as much as possible, having knowledge of what one advises about, and intending the rectification of one’s brother rather than exposing him.
Advice is not revenge or shaming. Whoever advises his brother privately is closer to sincerity and acceptance.
What is the Muslim’s etiquette during disagreement?
Among the manners of disagreement are seeking the truth, leaving fanaticism, guarding the tongue, not attacking intentions, returning to evidence and scholars, and being fair with the one who disagrees.
Not every disagreement permits boycotting, mockery, or erasing a person’s good qualities.
What is the ruling on pursuing people’s private faults?
Pursuing people’s private faults is forbidden, and it is a cause of exposure and punishment.
“O people who have believed with their tongues while faith has not entered their hearts, do not backbite Muslims and do not pursue their faults. Whoever pursues their faults, Allah will pursue his fault, and whoever Allah pursues his fault, He will expose him in his own house.” Narrated by Abu Dawud and authenticated by scholars.
What is the virtue of withholding harm from people?
Withholding harm is charity and part of good Islam. It includes withholding the harm of the tongue, hand, gaze, messages, and posts.
“The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand Muslims are safe.” Agreed upon.
What are the manners of speech on social media?
Social media falls under the rulings of the tongue and the pen. A Muslim must fear Allah in what he writes and shares, and leave insults, mockery, backbiting, spreading rumors, pursuing faults, and stirring discord.
Every word a person writes is part of his deeds.
Not a word does he utter except that with him is an observer prepared. [Qaf: 18]
Is it permissible to share everything that reaches me?
It is not permissible to share everything that reaches a person without verifying it, especially news, accusations, clips that harm people, and hadiths attributed to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم without checking.
“It is enough of a lie for a person to narrate everything he hears.” Narrated by Muslim in the introduction.
How can a Muslim improve his character?
He improves his character through:
- Supplicating for good character.
- Following the example of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.
- Striving against the self.
- Keeping company with people of good character.
- Remembering the reward of good character.
- Apologizing when mistaken.
- Leaving arrogance, anger, and revenge.